Monday, August 10, 2009


I woke up feeling very old this morning - I no longer have any babies at home. Try as I might to keep my youngest from growing up, she is now a self-assured, independent young lady and I must force myself to see her in this new light.

At 17, she is now a senior in high school with plans of college swirling in her head. She is driving herself to school and to work and "Mom's Taxi Service" has officially been retired. She does her own laundry and many times, cooks supper for the family - thanks Baby, the potato stroganoff last night was delicious.

Although she is happy with her new position in life, I, on the other hand, am having trouble defining my new role. For 27 years I've had a house full of children and our lives were hurdling at full warp speed ahead. Now I feel like I'm moving in slow motion, slugging through a haze of "wantitis." I want my babies back.

I know the world keeps revolving and everything is always in a constant state of change, but just for a moment, I want the ride to stop. Rein in the carousal and let me get off, if only for a few minutes. I'm not ready for this stage in my life - not sure if I'll ever be ready - but it's here and I have to muster on.

Wading through my new role in life, I wonder if this is the beginning of a new phase in life, or if I've wandered into the Twilight Zone. Give me back the times when Mom could fix everything and all was right with the world as long as Christine's "pony" was within easy reach.

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